The Birthright Gift

The Voice of VocationAt the leadership orientation that I spoke of recently, we were given this essay to read. And for reasons that aren’t quite clear, it moved me to tears. I don’t know if its because we were so close to, and therefore one with nature, or because of the introspective and thoughtful nature of the work we were doing, but as I read this essay, my eyes welled up with tears. I was grateful that everyone was engrossed in their own reading and thoughts and so didn’t see the little salty drops trickle down my face.

For longer than I can remember, I have wondered about my purpose in life; I knew there was more to life than the one I was leading. I was a lost soul in my 20s truly dragged far far away from my birthright gift, of my own doing…it’s because I gave my power away. Life became more centered in my 30s – true happiness, peace, home, marriage, kids, roots, community all happened in this incredible decade. And now, poised on the springboard as I am – 8 days away from entering my next decade I am beyond ecstatic – I KNOW that this is the decade that I will ‘find out the path to authentic service in the world.’ For it’s as Frederick Buechner says “vocation is the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”

The work that I have been doing, and continue to do will surely bring me closer to my birthright gifts. My true vocation of how I will best serve the world. In no particular order, these are some of the things I have embraced which I believe will help me find what I am truly meant to do.

1) Be Mindful: This is key – living in the here and now. As human beings, our nature is such that we’re always planning for our next best thing. Goals are good and worthy and important, but equally important is living in today. Expressing gratitude for where you are on this road and acknowledging that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, because there’s a purpose to that experience.

2) Simplify/Learn to Say No: The first thing my business coach did when I started to work with her was to make me aware of all the things that I was doing that didn’t really add value to my life; commitments that I made to other people – that took away my commitment to myself and my family. I quickly learned how to say NO…and it is powerful. And what’s more, I realized that the world didn’t fall off it’s axis because I said no. It’s continuing to spin just fine. She recently sent me a link to Jonathan FieldsThe Good Life Project as he interviewed world renowned blogger Leo Babauta who spoke of transforming and simplifying his life. It was inspiring to listen to and made me realize that my own journey is on track as I minimize my ‘outside commitments’ to stay true to what I really want to/need to do.

3) Make more space in your life to explore, create, write, question and spend time with yourself in quiet – you cannot be creative if you don’t give yourself a physical and mental clutter-free environment. My darling husband sent me a great link on Life Hacker on Why you need more margin in your life

4) Conscious Living: We are such a minute speck in the cosmos and I believe that we have been given a responsibility – a gift…we are expected to steward the gift of this planet earth wisely. In fundraising, if you don’t steward your donors and their gifts, you probably won’t get a second meaningful gift from them; this world isn’t so different. If we just focus on how to live OUR best life consciously rather than unconsciously going through our daily motions without thought (read more on that at Zen Habits) then by extension we will be stewarding this beautiful planet we call Earth.

This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means – but this is not something you can take on overnight. However it is something you can make a decision to do/start and then once you make that decision – as then, as has been told to us by Nike over and over again – Just Do It™.

Change is Constant! Embrace It!

Confessions of a Serial Runner

Don't let that little voice win!
Don’t let that little voice win!

Sometimes I still hate to run, but love to have run!

I’ve been running since I was 7 years old. I ran track all through school – 100m sprint was my race. I HATED distance running… in 1998 I ran my very first 5K in Central Park, NY – it was the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure – and boy you would have thought I ran a marathon! I was so out of breath and so beat up after it that I hobbled around for days. See those days, I HATED to run, but loved to have run! I loved to say that I was a runner…never mind that what I was doing was just about putting one foot in front of the other at a slightly faster clip than walking. In fact, I have a cousin who used to be a Speed Walk racer and I bet she would have beat me, had we ever put that to a test!

So What Changed?

I discovered that I was running too hard. See as a sprinter you give it all that you’ve got right out the gate! You only have a short distance to run and so you run fast and hard! However that’s not sustainable – and sure you can train to be a fast distance runner (I wasn’t born with those Kenyan genes) – but for the average Jane wanting to run – sprinting long distances isn’t realistic. So I slipped into a more conversational pace and lo and behold, I developed a true love for running.

I call it my moving meditation – it’s the only time that I can guarantee I will slip into true mindlessness. I truly become one with the road under my feet, the sound of my own breath mingled with the tweets (birds, not 140 character posts) of the birds and the occasional car passing by provides me with the white noise I need to totally ‘zone out.’ I have some of my greatest a-has and longest periods of quiet mind during my runs.

So why suddenly am I talking about running? Well – intuitively you would think that running outside your comfort zone would bring you the greatest reward – and if you were training for the Olympics you would be absolutely correct! However, for those of us who want to run for the pure enjoyment or exercise value – the way to run is to be able to hold a conversation with yourself. Even at that pace, if you do it consistently enough – you WILL get faster. I have run at an average 10 minute mile for over a year, and suddenly, without warning – I have started to run 9 or even sub 9 minute miles. I am still amazed when my RunKeeper program announces an 8min 25 second mile! WOW! ME??? no way!! Yup! ME!!!

So apply this to anything in your life – do it consistently for long enough, sometimes even without thought of reward and the reward will come anyway!

Run On!

Ganna Walska Lotusland

This is the site of the Emerging Leaders retreat orientation – perhaps you can understand why it brought out such strong emotions in me — we are all matter and matter is energy and when we vibrate at an energy close to our natural state – we become ‘one with nature’ and from this place such amazing creativity emerges. I believe that is what I experienced there!

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What Defines You?

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Last Friday I started what is going to be a 10 month long journey as a cohort of a leadership program called Emerging Leaders. This is designed to be a reflective, thoughtful, thought-provoking training with 15 of my peers to develop the next generation of leaders in the nonprofit sector. 

An honor system confidentiality agreement dictates that I cannot share with you what others confide in that safe, sacred space, but I can and will certainly be sharing my journey here and I hope you’ll come along for the ride. 

During an incredible orientation which started with a tour of a magnificent venue called Lotusland in Montecito, CA – a place obviously purposely chosen not just for the serenity and natural beauty but also for the inspiration that it provides you to just BE! It’s the place, where I’m told members go to just ‘Zen Out’ although I am not quite certain what that means. I imagine it means to just BE.MINDFUL. 

One of the exercises we had to do was to think of a word, a phrase or a group of words that we felt defined us – after considerable thought the words I chose were 

MIND.AFFIRM.ABUNDANT – and when I had to share with this group of complete strangers what this meant, I choked up! I couldn’t continue the first time and had to be allowed time to compose myself…I’m still working on why that happened…but when I did get to re-present to the group – here’s what I shared:

MIND – the most powerful tool at our disposal to create and have all that we ever want in this lifetime. It is our choice to use it or not.

AFFIRM: My dear coach and mentor Donna has dinned into me the power of affirmations – they work, even if you don’t believe them initially – they work! So create positive first person affirmations of EVERYTHING you want to attract or achieve in your life and don’t just say them – believe them…emote them!

ABUNDANT: If you employ your MIND to visualize and believe in your AFFIRMations you will fill your life with ABUNDANCE.

Wishing you abundance and peace

Appreciate where you are

20130106-082345.jpg Appreciate where you are. You are where you are because that’s what you needed to experience up to this point and that’s okay. Standing on the diving board of appreciation is a perfect place to launch from into the pool of your desires. Instead of beating yourself up because you are not where you want to be yet give yourself a break. Appreciating what is good builds more of what is good.” M.J. Durkin

Allow the Universe to deliver

Stop resisting everything and start “allowing” all the good the universe wants to deliver to you on a silver platter. It’s all there for you if you will let it in. You don’t have to work hard to deserve it – you already deserve to have a great life. You are supposed to feel good, have great relationships, have an alive and vibrant body and have enough money to do all the things that you want to do. That’s your natural state. Stop junking it up with all these resistant thoughts. Be light and easy. Have more fun. Savor more. Appreciate more of what you have that you like and more will flow to you – easily. – M.J. Durkin

New Year New You

In a recent email to my list that I wrote about goal setting and the New Year, I issued a challenge:

What one single commitment can you make to yourself that we can promise to keep through the month of January into February (afterall it only takes 21 days to form a habit)?

I suggested making a list of the top three things that you wanted to accomplish this year and then outline the immediate next steps you need for only one of those three things and start to implement that. Start with the easiest so that there is a true sense of immediate accomplishment. (It might be as simple as remembering to drink more water throughout the day).

So here’s my incentive for you:

If you comment here, or on facebook or email me your single one thing that will help you raise your personal bar – something you’ve never done for yourself before and IF YOU STAY WITH IT through January (so 1/2/13 – 2/1/13) the first 5 of you who reach out to me will get a free gift from me and all of you will be entered into a drawing for $100 worth of Arbonne product.

These are some of the awesome responses I have had so far:

Me: Post at least one inspirational, thoughtful, fun, resourceful blogpost daily

Diane: I want to be a thank you note/card writer – I am committing to one a day

Deborah: My plan is to start a gratitude journal where I make a daily entry of at least three things I am grateful for and send a ‘thinking of you’ card to one person every month.

Donna: My goal is to run a 5K with my daughter, so I have begun the 10 minute trainer

Anne: I am going through old stuff 5 days a week and re-organizing old stuff or getting rid of them.

Rosemary: 20 minute daily meditation

Udie: write for 10-20 minutes daily

So will you join this little community of people who are committed to #RaisingTheBar?

I hope so, we’d love to have you!

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I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite Steve Jobs quotes! NEVER SETTLE!

~N
Change is Constant, Embrace it