Embrace the Space

I have been offering gratitude for the time and space that COVID19 has created for me and my family. I recognize that this is not the norm; that for most people this is a very stressful time in their lives. I do feel very deep gratitude for this gift of time and I’m not taking it for granted for one second.

It took me a while to settle into doing less. I kept feeling the pressure of habitually needing to fill my days with things to do. Now that I’m no longer having chaotic-schedule-withdrawal-symptoms I feel more productive and less hamster-wheel-ish.

We’re used to allowing ourselves to do less productive work because we are always so busy hamster-wheeling in our regular lives.

COVID is now shining a light on how little is actually necessary to have a healthy and happy life. How did we keep up those lunatic schedules? If you’re a working parent of school aged kids – ya feel me! How’d we do it all and still manage to leave the house fully clothed and with color coordinated outfits – most days.

Why did I think my kids needed two extra curricular activities back to back on the same day? Why did they need to be in 7 different things?

Music, dance, Scouts, track, basketball, soccer…you know what I’m talking about?

Professionally too— why did I feel the need to go to so many meetings, trainings, conferences and committees?

At first I happily filled my days with digital meetings- feeling good that I was saving so much time since I didn’t have to spend time traveling to them. Zoom fatigue is a real thing! Back to back Zoom were making me cross eyed.

So I started being more intentional again about what I say yes to. Training webinars on how to pivot business practices due to COVID have sprung up like weeds. After attending nearly all of them for the first 6 weeks – I’m now being selective how i spend my time.

I’m back to asking my foundational questions before I say yes: am I doing this to for a purpose or for love? If the answer is no — I say no. And with practice I’m getting better at saying no.

I’m being project based instead of hour based in my work and I’m finding I can get more satisfyingly productive done that way— and in less time to boot!

So here’s my COVID inspired list of must do’s for self care.

  • Let go of the fear of missing out
  • Spend less time talking to a lot of people and more time talking to fewer people more meaningfully.
  • Embrace Space
  • Smile at Simple
  • Find Joy in doing nothing
  • Guilt doesn’t serve. Your heart will lead you to serve, not your head
  • Trust timing
  • Let the sun kiss you daily
  • Walk barefoot
  • Talk to birds
  • Hug a tree
  • Plant a garden
  • Bake cookies
  • Play board fames
  • Sit in bed and talk
  • Get lost in the fragrance of flowers
  • Talk to your plants
  • Nap
  • Rest
  • Sit still for a while
  • Read for pleasure

There’s something truly magical about self care. When you do it with no motive except to love yourself and be the best version of yourself; the ripple effect is felt exponentially to those who you care about. It’s as they say “happy wife, happy life.”

Try it— and let me know what you experience.

Try it with no other expectation except to give yourself the well deserved and much needed space.

Until we talk again; remember to be kind to yourself.

6 Words That Rocked My World

  My husband Jason is a scientist and someone who has a very intense filing system for a mind. His mind never shuts down. If the average person has over 20,000 thoughts a day, he probably has more like 10x! 

For 13 years that we’ve been together I’ve suggested, pleaded, begged, implored, recommended and pretty much done everything I could to ask him to develop a meditation practice. I’ve sent him articles from journals that he respects that espouse the benefits of a meditation and mindfulness practice; all to no avail. 

This past week was extraordinarily stressful. Both our kids had birthdays and instead of parties we settled on a weekend at Legoland which while a lot of fun is exhausting if you’re not under 12! The drive to Carlsbad which is usually 2.5hrs took 4+hrs on a Friday afternoon after school. The bonus there was  seeing friends we hadn’t seen in over 4 years and dinner with my best friend!! 

Later in the week, other things happened to us which threw us off kilter and by Wednesday we were not our best selves. We got into a big argument which ended in a 4 hour must-needed conversation about many unspoken things– things that got put on the back burner when kids and life happened. By now it was 11pm and my husband with the filing system of a mind the size of a museum was in overdrive. And then he said the words I’ve waited all these years to hear him say…

Will You Teach Me To Meditate?

I immediately burst into tears…relief, joy, gratitude and a feeing of closeness to him in a way that has been sadly missing between us for a while. We sat on our living room floor, across from each other, candles lit, mantra music barely discernible in the background and I led him through a Black and White breathing meditation. I emerged from meditation before him, and as I sat there in silence watching him with his head looking down, he never looked more beautiful to me. His face, usually wears the weight of our life that he’s chosen to bear, and in those few moments he looked so serene, so at peace, so reminiscent of how he looked to me when we first met. The light of the candles caused his rugged features (which I adore) to be softer, almost fluid. My eyes welled up again. I was never more in love with him than I was at that moment. I was transported to our wedding day and how I loved staring into his handsome face on Hearst State beach as we said our self-written vows to each other 10 years ago. 

It’s only been two days but he’s asked that we do this every night together as a new ritual for us. 

It’s been 13 years in the making and I never lost hope that one day we would sit in silence together and allow our energies to dance in the candlelight together. Yes indeed, dreams, even seemingly impossible ones can come true. 

Next up, couples yoga and (dare I say it) couples spa day. 


I’m patient.

I can hope.

I got pulled over by a policeman today

Yes I did. I was driving home with my 7yo after dropping my 3yo off to school so we could have a ‘girls’ day off’ while on Spring Break. I turned down a street, just one turn away from my home, doing a California Roll (barely stopping) at the stop sign and in the microsecond that I made that turn and saw him, I just knew he was going to stop me. I looked him squarely in the eyes as I drove by, watching my rear view mirror to see if he would turn his car around…he did.

Now first off – in the past, whenever I have been stopped (just about 3-4 times in my life) my heart would race and I would get really nervous – this time, I was calm. Curious!

Anyway, he probably ran my plate then came up to me and I was handing him my license and registration before he asked. He said what I knew he would say, that I didn’t stop; (I did tap the brakes, I just didn’t stop long enough) – I looked at him and said that I knew the moment that I saw him that he would be pulling me up for this. He took my stuff back to his car to do whatever it is they do. And in that moment, as I waited to receive the ticket (I saw him pull out a pad and start to write something) I remembered my meditation class from last week. It had been such a good teaching that I pulled out my iPhone and started taking notes, making sure to tell the teacher after the fact, that that’s what I was doing, lest she think I was texting in the middle of her teaching.

What she said was profound yet so simple as profound statements tend to be. She was talking about the effort that it takes to train your mind and that it is as important to clean our mind as we clean our bodies, our homes and our cars. The statement that I went to, in that moment waiting for the policeman to come back and give me a ticket for the California roll was that of finding a spiritual practice in every mundane act that we do. In my case sitting there, I thought of this: ‘thank you Universe for one more sign that I should slow down. I receive this message with humility and a sense of acceptance of whatever the consequence is for my action.” And I actually found myself smiling at that moment.

So Mr. Policeman with a very sweet Eastern European accent returns to my side and asks me for my home or cell phone number. (is that usual? Don’t remember that from my last pull over from over a decade ago) He asks me what I do – I tell him I am self employed. He asks in what? I say I am a Wellness Coach. I am figuring he’s filling out details on his triplicate ticket that he’s about to rip out and give me. He then says he isn’t going to give me a ticket this time…rather let me off with a warning – that I have a child in the car and that I am in a residential area and that I should be more careful. I thank him out loud, bless him in my heart and make my way home basking in the love that has just been shown to me by The Universe, by way of a very thoughtful police officer.

So my invitation to you is to consider what ordinary activities do you engage in everyday that you can transform into a spiritual practice. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

  1. Food cooked with love and consciousness is an expression of love and kindness.
  2. See the potential in every activity you engage in – whether that be cleaning your bathroom or doing your taxes
  3. Develop a mind of compassion in everything you do
  4. Recognize that even an intention to control your mind and develop peace causes a karmic event. No action is ever wasted.
  5. You’ve created the cause, you will experience the effect.

Think of negative thoughts as ‘bad weather in the blue sky of your mind’ turbulence is momentary – blue skies ahead!

Let me know how I can assist you on your journey. I’m in your service and sending you light & love