Today was step on the scale day! I have to admit I was a bit leery– after all these past few days have been not exactly as the program prescribes! I’ve had roti (gluten), cucumber raita (dairy), beer (alcohol), and even a small sliver of the delicious chocolate tart (sugar)– and believe me when I tell you– I usually HATE tarts! I don’t like the pudding texture– all gooey in my mouth– same reason I don’t like marshmallows!
Another 2lb down!! Down to 128lb! And I haven’t seen that number since my wedding 9 years ago so WOW I’m thrilled!
My son woke up at 4:45am– not as bad as 2:45am– but he wouldn’t go back to sleep– keeping a toddler quiet so the rest of the house can sleep for another hour or two was interesting to say the least! We did rather well.
Breakfast was my smoothie as usual, lunch was chicken with black eyed peas (yum btw– really turned out well!), dinner was left over salmon and 1/2 ear corn on cob! Snacks in the middle of the day were cherries, smoked almonds, a couple of Arbonne mango kiwi chews and a lot of water.
So here’s my observations for today- given that I’d not been diligent on the program for a couple days didn’t seem to matter too much– what was interesting to me was that I was very aware of my slips and also forgiving! I enjoyed everything I ate- didn’t guilt myself at all- not even for the beer! But I did do everything in moderation– way more moderation than I would usually consider moderation. Only a thin sliver of the pie- not a whole slice. Only a tablespoon of raita (cucumber yogurt) – not a whole bowl, only one roti- not 2 and no basmati rice!
My observation is that our idea of normal sizes has gotten so skewed because of everything being Grande/Venti/Supersized that our idea of moderation is what normal size should be– and so when I did real moderation– it truly was ‘smaller’ amounts and therefore didn’t derail me!
I did this program in March and went from 138lb to my pre baby weight of 130lb. Toward the end of June with all the graduation parties and July 3rd AND 4th BBQs I was up to 132lb the day I started this program. My drivers license says I’m 125lb– a weight I haven’t been since my wedding day 9 years ago (and that too because I ate every last bite of our scrumptious meal and cake- I only barely saw that number on the scale!).
Now the reason I’m sharing this is simply this: I feel empowered! I feel in control both emotionally, mentally and physically to do this program- one that assures me success as long as I follow it even within a modicum of diligence! I’ve made adaptations for my lifestyle! I love food too much to have so many restrictions on an ongoing basis! I want to control my food– not be controlled by it! I want to eat and drink to savor – to live- to celebrate and to love! I don’t eat to survive! I eat with all my senses– my eyes and nose even more strongly than my taste buds although those are in close third! And no way will I give up eating baguette and French Brie forever! My Belgian friends taught me a true appreciation for good Belgian ale, my husband and I developed a taste for excellent coffee and tequila together, he spoils me on BBQ that I consider world class– and apparently I can bake pretty damn well! My mother still cooks the best Indian meals on the planet! There is no way on God’s green earth that I will give up these flavors that I’ve developed memories around. I can still recall my mom’s hand feeding me my favorite ‘Dhansaak daal’ as I studied late into the night as a high schooler, I still remember where we were when Jason and I went on a tequila tasting expedition, I still have fond memories of my first few tastes of Abbey Leffe Blonde in Marseille surrounded by amazing friends, a platter of Belgian fries with mayo (not ketchup) straight out of the fryer at 3am! Baguette and Brie still reminds me of trips taken on the TGV throughout Europe 12 years ago. Nope– food isn’t just sustenance– food is memories- memories that I want to remember for a lifetime. How could I never eat those foods again?
So for me this program puts me in control- I continue to do it every now and then not because I want to disappear– honestly I’m happy with my weight and if I hadn’t lost a pound i would be fine. I’ve gotten past my identity being tied to a number on a scale way early in life. What I continue to do this for is to create habits- a lifestyle that will last forever. It takes us years of unhealthy eating to get to where we are when we are overweight and yet we expect to drop it in days/weeks/months! Nope– it will take just as long to establish a lifelong lifestyle – doing it for 30 days helps kick start it– then I fell off the wagon a few times– and knowing that I have something healthy to follow to get back to center and re-equilibriate is really awesome! It takes discipline that then flows into other areas of my life- it takes patience that I benefit from having as does my family – and it takes dedication and a never gonna quit attitude!
Finally– anyone can do anything for 30 days– and the power and control that this program gives you is liberating! You ought to try it– the only thing you have to lose is possibly inches and pounds and you have everything to gain– including energy!
The Breathing Space 