Tag: Friends

Look Up From Your Phone

by Niki Chopra Richardson, posted in Inspiration

I went to a wine walk yesterday here in Camarilllo. It was being held in our little downtown district to help bring more visitors and drive traffic into the stores. A good concept to be sure. I took an uber to get there, and had this interesting out of body observation of myself.

I spent the entire 10 minute trip from my house to Studio Channel Islands on my phone. Not looking up once to see where we were, or even say a word to the driver.

I had a wonderful time with some wonderful friends tasting some excellent wine and stopping into stores and businesses that I had never entered before, even though I have lived here nearly 20 years.

In the uber on the way home, I was struck by the fact that this young man’s car contained water bottles in each of the seat pouches in front of the passengers as well as a little jar of dum dum lollipops and eclipse gum if you wanted to freshen your breath or were in need of a sweet treat.

A small but thoughtful touch, costing less than $5.

The young man struck up a conversation with me. I asked him what he did besides drive for uber and he let me know that he had big dreams among which were taking care of his immigrant parents. He wanted to have multiple revenue sources, he wanted to inspire people, he wanted to help people live better lives through health and fitness. He wanted a gym, a record company and a marketing and design company, all in the next decade.

Big dreams!

Big goals!

Very crystal clear intentions of what he wanted.

No 9-5 job for him.

He was not quite 25!

We talked about meditation then.

He said his favorite way to meditate was to visualize his future.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Kudos Vincent. (Yes i asked him his name)

So often these days we hide behind our screens instead of engaging with humanity. We use it as a way to zone out, numb out, the endless black scroll on social media dulling our senses and our abilities to connect.

We think we’re connected.

After all we have 2,000 friends and 9,000 likes on our feed.

But what do you REALLY know about those friends?

Are they really friends?

Recently someone pinged me and said- oh my goodness what a small world– we have mutual friends on FB. I stared back at her blankly– I didn’t know those people. They’re friends of friends so I didn’t reject their friend request.

So today, or tomorrow, instead of looking into your screen, following someone’s political rant, someone’s viral video or someone’s riveting schedule as it unfolds on social media, leave your phone tucked away, pretend that you don’t have that distraction.

And when you have a few minutes to kill in the grocery line or in an uber, just ask the person in front of you–

So how are you?

You might be inspired by their answer!

Days 3, 4 and 5 – there are no shortcuts

by Niki Chopra Richardson, posted in Family, gratitude, Health, Inspiration, Nutrition

RisottoSo ends the first five days of my cleanse. I fared well. I had a couple slips– a bite of bread when we went to Daphne’s Grill for dinner tonight, the most delectable chocolate ball by Lindt… Hazelnut truffle! but other than that I did rather well. I treated myself to a gluten free lemon scented risotto with seared scallops and green beans At the Blue Stove in the Thousand Oaks Nordstrom- possibly my favorite restaurant in the Conejo Valley.

All week I managed to create some rather delicious gluten free dishes for my family, thanks to the amazing support of the Facebook group thats supporting this program. Yesterday I ran out of time to cook, and resorted to an old standard– linguini with vodka cream sauce…something that needs 5 ingredients and can be cooked in 20min. But luckily I had quinoa, sautéed spinach and mushrooms and pan-seared chicken breast finished in the oven- but of course like any cook, I had to taste the food I cooked and holy cow it was delicious! But my meal was awesome too.

Seared Ahi Tuna salad
Seared Ahi Tuna salad

Today my friend Deanne took me to lunch to celebrate my transition from W2 to 1099! I had the most delicious seared Ahi tuna salad with mixed greens, daikon sprouts, carrots and tomatoes. I made sure to eat all the tuna first and sure enough it was so filling that I couldn’t finish the salad. A-ha! My stomach is shrinking already. A week or two ago, I’d have no trouble eating the whole thing. The cleanse is working, my stomach is shrinking.

Today an interesting thing happened — I was on my way to meet with a friend in Malibu at the Starbucks in my old stomping grounds– I got my MBA at Pepperdine 13 years ago. There’s a traffic light by the school entrance where you can take a short cut to the mart by turning left but you can’t do that till after 9am. It was 8:56am, and the memory of the ticket I got for not paying attention to the time as a sleep deprived MBA student is still fresh Even 13 years later. So I crossed the light, and for not taking that shortcut I was rewarded with the beautiful vision of 6-7 deer grazing on the grass at Alumni Park. I was in the wrong lane to pull over, nevertheless I said a silent prayer of gratitude at the vision that started my morning well– my reward today for not taking a shortcut. The entire day went amazingly well. I spent time with good friends, then with my little girl alone, then with both my kids at Daphne’s. We laughed a lot today! Now I’m snuggled near my husband with the fireplace candles, watching a movie with half an eye as I write this. Life is Perfect!

Tonight i send to you my wish — I wish for you the complete peace I felt today. I wish for you the chance to stop and smell the roses or see the deer as the case may be!

Sending you you all love and light from a heart filled with love

Niki

Roots and the Way of the Universe

by Niki Chopra Richardson, posted in Inspiration

Can you imagine what it must be like to live somewhere for 19 years without ever feeling like you’ve put down roots? That’s me! I moved to NY from India in 1994 because ever since I was 12 I knew I wanted to live in this great country. In NY I always felt that I was there just to do what I had to do, to get to where I was supposed to go, then I moved to California to get an MBA at Pepperdine University and living in Woodland Hills was just while I was in school. Then I met my husband and we moved to where we live now, but I never thought of VC as home – always thought that we’d settle somewhere else; that this house isn’t where we’ll put down roots, even though both our kids were born here. Do you know how exhausting that is? To always be living as if you’re just here temporarily – till wherever you’ll go next, only to do that again, and again. I never quite settled into my home – and we’ve been here over 8 years. I feel like I haven’t actually made it my own. Ever since I moved in with my husband 13 years ago, I craved a sense of community – craved girlfriends who lived close enough that we could meet for coffee or wine, or get our kids together for play dates as an excuse for us to get together, to have a rotation of homes to go to for the different holidays, for summer fun activities – you get it! And don’t get me wrong – I have A.M.A.Z.I.N.G girlfriends the world over – and that’s just it – they’re all over the world. Hong Kong, India, Australia, Iran, London etc. and here in the US, San Diego, Portland, Seattle, Rhode Island, Santa Barbara, New York, Los Angeles and other cities, but no one within a few miles of me – until September 5, 2012. That milestone day was the day my little girl started kindergarten, and a community of new kinder parents began to form. The universe was finally answering my prayer…here was evolving a small subgroup of the kinder parents who’s kids got along, but the parents REALLY got along…not just the women – but the husbands too!

Memorial Day Monday this year – we gathered at one of the homes, a beautiful home on a hill with an incredible front yard at the bottom of a gentle slope. We parents sat watching as the kids ran free and wild with nowhere to go that would be out of sight – but with so much space to run that one full lap would have exhausted them all! Beer, guacamole, cheese, fruit, burgers, hot dogs and incredible conversations. This is by far the best Memorial Day I have ever celebrated in this country. I can say that about New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo & Easter too – lots of laughter and fun, and the incredible sense of community that I have craved and sought even without realizing it, for most of my adult life.

So with this sense of finally settling in came the realization that although I LOVE working in Santa Barbara, no – under no circumstances do I want to move there anytime soon (which is something I thought I wanted for the past 5 years). This was so freeing. For the very first time, since 1994 I feel like I am settled. I am HOME and I love it.

And here’s where the Universe does it’s thing in strange ways…

Monday May 27 – Memorial Day BBQ with friends and this realization of community hits home hard.

Tuesday May 28 – grandfather would have turned 91 – I definitely think he was hanging out with me that week.

Wednesday May 29, 6:06 am as I meditate, I think that I hear my husband’s voice loud and clear from the top of the stairs telling me ‘It’s time for work‘ – so as not to shout back up – I text him and tell him it’s only 6 am (our household doesn’t wake till 6:30). I go upstairs to start getting ready at 6:30 am and he joins me in the bathroom groggy and asks me why I texted him. I remind him that he yelled down at me half an hour ago – and he looks at me like I’m inhaling an illicit narcotic! No, it wasn’t him he says. I heard it LOUD and clear! It wasn’t him – but I heard these words in a male voice that I assumed was him because there are no other adult males in my house at that hour of the morning.

Later this day, I receive a job offer and am scheduled to attend an interview for a different job later in June. Both these are in VC – the County that is my home, and the County that I have been trying to get out of for the past 5 years.

June 1, 9:00am – I attend an Arbonne training with my dear friend Mel and we are both rocked in our shoes with the incredible energy – we are both ready to roll up our sleeves and seriously get to work! I want my free White Mercedes for Christmas!

So yes God – It’s time for work – I get it, loud and clear! I’m here, and ready when you are!

How do you spend time on an airplane?

by Niki Chopra Richardson, posted in Inspiration

I’m flying home on Southwest from Tampa today via Denver. (Travel tip: when you’re boarding the airline the flight attendant is always standing in the emergency exit row taking up a seat– ask her if you can have that seat!) they will obviously move for you and there you have it- a great seat practically reserved for you!) my seat mate saw and loved my phone case and so there was the ice breaker. I introduced myself and for the next two something hours we didn’t stop talking! She was in her 50s on her way to Orange County via Denver to be her Vietnam POW ‘daddy’s date’ at a gala where he was being honored. I have not laughed so hard and so long in quite a long while. In that time I learned most of her story, including multiple bouts with different sorts of cancer, raising 4 children singlehandedly including adopting a 14 year old! She was amazing, smart, funny, brilliant (MA, MBA, JD) and so human! The coolest of all was that I was able to add so much value to a woman who obviously has it all! (Drives a Mercedes, lives on the water, multiple homes etc.) she asked me what I did – I told her I was a lifestyle consultant helping people live their best life so they could do what was important to them– I was able to educate her about nutrition, makeup (I drew how to do eye makeup for her gala on a cocktail napkin), Skincare- we talked about rendering plants and animal by-products and why to avoid microwaving food in plastic containers– among a myriad of other things. As we went to exchange numbers – I pulled out my little black book and by happenstance opened to a page on top of which I’d written ‘work with 3 people’ – I showed that to her. She smiled knowingly; you get whatever you ask for- you just have to ask for it.

End result: she’s interested in my 30 day program to drop weight but more exciting she wants to possibly fly me out to Florida to work with her in person- to ‘set her up.’

Wow!!!

The flip side – I could have buried my nose in a book or taken a nap and missed out on getting to know a fascinating person who I will have the pleasure of helping live optimally so that she can focus on what’s really important in her life and world.

So the next time you’re on public transportation step outside your box and make a difference in someone’s life. The feeling is euphoric! I promise you!

Who Are Your True Friends?

by Niki Chopra Richardson, posted in Family

20130514-225609.jpg

I saw this quote on Pinterest and it got me thinking about a recent exchange that I had with someone I considered a true friend. I haven’t known her too long– just a couple years – and yet there was something about her that made us just ‘click.’ For a while we managed to spend a fair amount of time hanging out in spite of the many responsibilities we both had in our respective lives. Then life got busier for both of us- and I realized that I wanted to downsize my life and focus my priorities on just a few things – essentially I stripped my schedule to barebones to open up time for the spiritual and professional exploration that came along with my 40th birthday this February. (Midlife crisis?)

Anyway something happened and she felt slighted and unimportant. She left me a voice message to tell me this. I spent three days agonizing over this- partly indignant (Doesn’t she know how busy this mom of two, professional entrepreneur, wife, daughter, sister is?), partly confused (my longest and closest friends are those I haven’t spoken to in over a year and yet when we talk we can pick up where we left off as if we talk daily- doesn’t she understand true friendship doesn’t have physical boundaries?), and partly resigned (if she can’t accept what I can offer then this relationship has run it’s course).

So in turn I wrote a lengthy email- explaining pretty much what I just said here – and ended with wishing her nothing but the best and all my love and good wishes. I thought to talk to her personally but I always do better with letters and always resorted to pen and paper (before email) for the weighty conversations where I want to think before I speak so I don’t put my foot in my mouth.

Even though I wrote that email with the best intentions- it didn’t sit well with me – reality is that I take my friendships seriously – even if I don’t show up physically for them and I guess she had come to mean more than I realized.

I reached out to her – she responded that she too still cared. I said I’d like to talk in person and she concurred. Her schedule and mine prevented us from doing it immediately. I left a message for her to call me to schedule something — I’m still waiting…

This got me thinking a lot about friendships and relationships in general – I realized again that my closest friends I have known since grade and high school in India. Months and even years can go by and we might not talk– we may even forget each others’ birthdays but somehow – just somehow that doesn’t seem to matter. What matters is that our hearts are connected and when I think of these friends or when we do talk- the familiarity, comfort and connection is as powerful and strong as though we are in touch daily.

True friendship is truly not measured in the physical time you spend together- rather in the bond that your hearts form that link you beyond just word and action. It’s hard to pin down, but I think you know what I mean…Don’t you?

How do you measure true friendship?